Past, Present & Future – Learning to Move Past Regret!

The process of learning to love life is one which involves the detoxification of elements which hinder your personal growth. Many people believe they are happy and fully content with it all, but when you peel back some the layers of the surface, they hare hoarding feelings deeply seeded in past regret.

How do we move past regret? The truth is regret originates from the growth process itself. With time and experience, we gain the knowledge and wisdom, which creates feelings of anxiety over past decisions today. I call that the “what if” syndrome. We often say “what if I had done that, what if I stayed in that relationship, what if I had stayed at that job or what if I could find that person”. The truth is those ‘what ifs’ are taking up precious time in your life.

Learning to let go of the past is difficult, I understand, but it is essential. You must trust your past decisions as they were at that time regardless of how you have reevaluated the situation in the present. The decisions we made in the past help us to grow and understand our mistakes. When you made a decision over a decade ago, you cannot rebirth the outcome. Learn to accept the outcome as a lesson that has enhanced your life in a positive way regardless of how you view its effect.

In the present, stay away from the elements that serve as the source of your regret from the past. For example, if you let your brother borrow $500 from you ten years ago and he never paid you back, if he asks you today to borrow $500 today, would you let him borrow the money? The past experience has shaped the way you think today. Today, you make conscious decisions that will not create the same result as those in the past. Why? Because your past has shaped your thought process for you avoid the same outcome. You can face situations with confidence and create effective plans based upon experience.

But in the future, the reality is you must prepare for change and further growth. Take a moment to evaluate the outcome of today’s decisions and its potential effect on your future. In the scenario provided, if you lend your brother another $500, do you think he will pay you back? Do you think that it will cause conflict in the future if he did not pay back the debt? Do you think that he will wait another ten years to borrow more money? The choice is yours.

Your past is the past and there is nothing that can change past circumstances, however, learning how to overcome past regret is the key to developing a healthy mindset which will allow you to experience growth in every aspect of your life. And remember, now is the time to leap out on faith and dare to live out your dreams…..

Continued Prosperity!

I am a serial entrepreneur who is committed to working with others to dream big and give up the idea of a ‘can’t do’ mentality. By the age of 26, I was operating my first business out of my living room. I learned the art of networking, marketing and life skills by surrounding myself with people who represented success and the principles that I was seeking. I eliminated all of the negative forces that gave up on my vision and created an inner circle of winners. Today, I carry these same principles throughout every aspect of my life and I am committed to coaching others who are ‘pregnant’ with a dream on how to transition in to the birthing process. I live by the principle that it is time to leap out on faith and dream big!

How To Negotiate Against Anyone

Having the ability to negotiate is a very valuable skill. Whether you’re negotiating for lower prices at the local supermarket or closing a business deal at favorable terms, possessing the ability to negotiate can bring you success in so many areas.

Here are some proven ways on how to negotiate against anyone.

1. What is Your Worst Case Scenario?

Before entering a negotiation, determine the worst offer or resolution that you would accept. This could be in terms of the lowest salary you would accept or the highest price you are willing to pay for a certain product. In other words, determine your BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement) before even going into a negotiation because let’s face it, a successful negotiation is a win-win negotiation where both parties compromise.

Thus, even if you do not achieve your initial aims, you would still be happy with the outcome. Determining your BATNA helps to strengthen your resolve when bargaining and this adds to your bargaining power.

2. Do Your Research

He who has the most knowledge wins. This is especially true in during negotiations. If you have done your research, you may even know the cost price of an item that you are planning to buy and hence, the seller’s bargaining position.

This way, you would be able to suggest an offer that is favorable to you and yet still reasonable. If you have some dirt on a competing firm, state it during negotiations and if possible, back it up with irrefutable statistics and facts. This will go a long way to securing that important business deal for your firm.

3. Look For Any Slips But Never Show Your Hand

As far as possible, never reveal your bargaining position. Once you’ve revealed that, the chances of a favorable outcome from the negotiation decreases dramatically. On the other hand, look for slips by the other person when they are talking and use it to your advantage.

For example, if a seller accidentally reveals that a product has been on the shelf for almost six months, you are in a much better position to bargain for a better price since it is unlikely that this product will be sold if you do not buy it.

4. Make An Aggressive First Offer

Be extra careful when you are the person making the first offer because this first offer will act as an anchor that will guide the entire negotiation from start to end. Further offers or compromises that result will depend heavily on this first offer. If you have done your research and can estimate your opponent’s bargaining position, start with an offer that is just beyond his or her bargaining position. For example, if a buyer knows that the best price a seller could get for a certain product is $900, the buyer should offer to buy the product for $700. (could be lower but not too exaggerated)

Take note though, if you were to make a mistake in this first offer, your entire negotiating position could be compromised and you could end up on the wrong side of the deal.

5. Practice

With these quick tips on how to negotiate against anyone, the key to incorporating these tips into your next negotiation is to practice. Practice these skills the next time you’re bargaining for a lower price at your local grocer or arguing with your spouse about who gets to do the housework. This practice will come in handy when you are negotiating for more serious issues like a salary raise or a big business deal.

7 Steps To Effective Negotiating

After more than four decades of involvement, in nearly every aspect of leadership, including identifying, training, developing, consulting, and personal service, I have come to realize, one of the most relevant, necessary skills, abilities and assets, although often – overlooked, is being a quality negotiator. In order to be able to proceed, in the best interests of the group, you represent, as well as the constituents, you serve, you must be able to become committed, to the arts and sciences, of effectively negotiating! With that in mind, this article will briefly attempt, to consider, review, and discuss, 7 steps to effective negotiations.

1. Know the needs, and what you want: Before you begin any negotiations, it is essential to learn, discover, and be certain, you truly know, the needs, and being able to prioritize the most essential ones, from your wish – list! Don’t assume you fully know, and understand, but, rather, begin the process, by effectively listening, and learning from others, and using that knowledge, as a relevant guide. How can anyone properly articulate what he seeks, until/ unless he truly understands it, himself?

2. Budget/ financial restrictions: All too often, pseudo – negotiators begin the process, and then later, try to align the economic realities, to fit, what was negotiated! On the other hand, quality, professional negotiations, begin, with creating the budget, and then using that, as an important guide, in seeking what you need, and can afford.

3. Research; homework: Begin by doing your homework, and researching, and fully understanding, both, what you seek, but what, the other side, needs, and might be able to agree to! One should try to balance, making the best possible deal, with creating a win – win, scenario!

4. Proceed with genuine integrity: How can anyone hope to effectively negotiate, and get the best possible, meeting of the minds, unless/ until, he maintains absolute integrity, and avoids, the often – taken, easier path, of distorting the facts, and manipulating them, to attempt to take advantage?

5. Common interests/ common good: The focus of quality negotiating must be on creating an agreement, which works for the common good, and, which, both sides, believe, serves their needs. This means looking at all perspectives, and seeking a viable solution!

6. Meeting of the minds: The result will never be a good one, especially in the longer – term, unless there’s a genuine, meeting of the minds, and some, true, give – and – take!

7. Win – win: Those with negotiating skills, do not seek personal victory, but, rather, a viable solution, which all sides, feel, is beneficial! Those who proceed with this win – win, negotiating philosophy, and approach, generally, create the best results!

Will you consider and focus on these 7 steps to more effective negotiating? If you want to be a real leader, it’s important, to commit to, doing so!