When you negotiate, do you use questions strategically, to go from despondency to euphoria? During negotiations, some negotiators become despondent, because they don’t know how to answer questions.

During a negotiation, your emotional perspective and the way you respond to questions determine the flow and outcome of the negotiation. If you wish to become more adept at negotiating, you must use questions to control the flow of the negotiation.

Become better positioned to achieve successful outcomes in your negotiations, by considering the following information.

1. How should you respond to questions and control the flow of the negotiation?

• To control the flow of a negotiation, only answer questions that are pertinent to your position. If a question is posed that could support your position, but you feel it might be the source of potential friction, consider acknowledging it with a gesture and ask that it be put aside until another phase of the negotiation. If the question is not appropriate to advance your position, don’t lend credence to it. Ignore it. You can use a shrug of the head, or some other nonverbal gesture, to dismiss it.

2. Use questions to answer questions, as a way of directing and controlling the flow of a negotiation.

• Another way to alleviate your despondency when confronted with questions is to respond by asking a question (e.g. Question asked of you – What’s the per unit cost? Your response – Is the per unit cost important to you?). If you have control of the negotiation, the other negotiator will be obligated to answer your question, while forgoing a response to his own. While he’s answering your question(s), you’re gathering more information and controlling the flow of the negotiation.

3. Use body language to convey your questions succinctly and with authority.

• In order to have your question(s) perceived with authority, be sure your body language is synchronized with the manner by which you pose questions (e.g. If a question is meant to put the other negotiator in a somber mood, consider presenting your question in a manner that represents such a demeanor. In essence, don’t smile if you’re trying to make the other negotiator experience dread, unless you’re attempting to be sinister.)

If you want to experience the euphoric feeling one has when reaching a successful negotiation outcome, enhance your abilities to use questions as a strategic negotiation tool. Once you acquire the skill to direct the negotiation with questions, you’ll increase the positive outcomes of your negotiations… and everything will be right with the world. Remember, you’re always negotiating.

The Negotiation Tips Are…

• The ranges of emotions experienced in a negotiation are tied directly to how you answer and ask questions. Answer questions with this thought in mind.

• Negotiators experience a wide range of emotions, promoted by the questions posed. In order to become a better negotiator, learn to use questions strategically.

• By posing and responding to questions strategically, you decrease the potential for despondency and improve your chances of reaching a successful outcome.

You are invited to speak on the new product your company just launched. You deliver a killer presentation. You receive questions from your audience. You get a standing ovation. Then nothing happens. You didn’t get a lead. You didn’t get a referral.

When you speak at a professional or trade conference you have the opportunity to build brand awareness, expand the database, get a referral, attract another client, or close a sale. However these opportunities often vanish like vapor from a fog, and when the fog clears you walk away thinking you aren’t a very good presenter after all. This is a false assumption and an unfair judgment about your own abilities.

If you aren’t getting the results you hoped for it’s not because you aren’t a good presenter. You aren’t getting the desired results because you haven’t learned how to distinguish a hope from an intention.

You hope you will get interest. You hope to brand your company. You hope to build your database, attract a new client and close a sale. These are your hopes. Unconsciously you have another agenda, your secret intentions. You intend to impress the audience with your knowledge. You intend to get a standing ovation so you can feel warm and fuzzy and tell your friends how you “nailed the presentation.” You intend to re-live your war stories about the difficult product launch, how you worked with no sleep and how you emerged the hero.

How do I know? I know because I’ve experienced it myself, and I’ve watched people just like you, therefore I know how to identify the red flags. Let me explain.

When you invited your audience to ask questions, (whether that audience is one or one thousand) you missed the buying signal and instead blathered on about “back stage” stuff.
What is back-stage stuff you ask? Back stage talk is when you start speaking about what is behind the curtain instead of focusing on the performance.You have forgotten you have an audience and the conversation has reverted to your favorite topic–you.You talk about your dream, your company’s history, your great website, your struggles to get the product launched, your process for delivering the product and everything else except solving the customer’s problem.

Come to think of it, giving a good sales presentation is a lot like fishing.The problem happens when you become the fish instead of the fisherman. With a single question your prospect baits the hook, casts the line and you swallow the bait, hook, line and sinker. Without noticing you just got reeled in with your potential customer’s question. You forgot that you are the fisherman, not the fish.

Don’t feel bad. There is a way to become a better fisherman. Here are some steps so that you don’t take the bait.

1. Get clear on the outcome you desire.

2. Transition, answer briefly then redirect the question.

3. Listen to uncover problems.

4. Step up to the next level.

Here’s an example of how it works.

Step one: you become clear that you want to attract new customers. Now that you know your intention, you have to match your actions. This means you stay focused on solving a problem rather than sharing back-stage information and overwhelming to your customer. All your customer cares about is how he benefits from your product.

Step two: when you open for questions, you must recognize the bait. A customer’s question is your opportunity to transition, briefly answer, then redirect the question back to her.For example, your customer asks, “So tell me how you came up with the idea for this product?” You recognize your initial tendency to want to give a dissertation and instead you use the redirect. You transition, “I’m so glad you asked, then you answer briefly, “We noticed customers having problems with….” then you redirect by asking, “what kinds of problems do you currently face?”

When you redirect, it means you have cast the line and it’s your turn to listen and take notes. After your prospect has finished talking, your presentation at this point needs to be directed toward the next step in the sales process.That may mean an appointment, another presentation, a trial offer, a demonstration or signing the dotted line. Happy fishing.

After more than four decades of involvement, in nearly every aspect of leadership, including identifying, training, developing, consulting, and personal service, I have come to realize, one of the most relevant, necessary skills, abilities and assets, although often – overlooked, is being a quality negotiator. In order to be able to proceed, in the best interests of the group, you represent, as well as the constituents, you serve, you must be able to become committed, to the arts and sciences, of effectively negotiating! With that in mind, this article will briefly attempt, to consider, review, and discuss, 7 steps to effective negotiations.

1. Know the needs, and what you want: Before you begin any negotiations, it is essential to learn, discover, and be certain, you truly know, the needs, and being able to prioritize the most essential ones, from your wish – list! Don’t assume you fully know, and understand, but, rather, begin the process, by effectively listening, and learning from others, and using that knowledge, as a relevant guide. How can anyone properly articulate what he seeks, until/ unless he truly understands it, himself?

2. Budget/ financial restrictions: All too often, pseudo – negotiators begin the process, and then later, try to align the economic realities, to fit, what was negotiated! On the other hand, quality, professional negotiations, begin, with creating the budget, and then using that, as an important guide, in seeking what you need, and can afford.

3. Research; homework: Begin by doing your homework, and researching, and fully understanding, both, what you seek, but what, the other side, needs, and might be able to agree to! One should try to balance, making the best possible deal, with creating a win – win, scenario!

4. Proceed with genuine integrity: How can anyone hope to effectively negotiate, and get the best possible, meeting of the minds, unless/ until, he maintains absolute integrity, and avoids, the often – taken, easier path, of distorting the facts, and manipulating them, to attempt to take advantage?

5. Common interests/ common good: The focus of quality negotiating must be on creating an agreement, which works for the common good, and, which, both sides, believe, serves their needs. This means looking at all perspectives, and seeking a viable solution!

6. Meeting of the minds: The result will never be a good one, especially in the longer – term, unless there’s a genuine, meeting of the minds, and some, true, give – and – take!

7. Win – win: Those with negotiating skills, do not seek personal victory, but, rather, a viable solution, which all sides, feel, is beneficial! Those who proceed with this win – win, negotiating philosophy, and approach, generally, create the best results!

Will you consider and focus on these 7 steps to more effective negotiating? If you want to be a real leader, it’s important, to commit to, doing so!